FIC: it's easier to lie

Title: it’s easier to lie
Pairing: Kris Allen/Adam Lambert (American Idol)
Word Count: ~2,200
Rating: PG-13
Summary: “Oh honey,” Brad starts, leaning back on the counter and clucking his tongue. “Pants are for Christians.”
Author's Note: Another fic meant for the ontd_ai drabble meme. Prompt: Kris/Adam, after L.A. concert, Brad being at the show brings out a jealous side of Kris, anywhere from PG to R, obviously post-Idol. Basically this comm is ensuring I never finish writing anything else I start.




“You’re not wearing pants,” Kris says when Brad walks up to him at the after party. He can’t stop himself and Brad just looks at him, smiling with that usual gleam in his eye. The one that says ‘I’m trying to make you uncomfortable and I’m enjoying every second of it’. Kris watches Brad watch him, sees Brad’s eyes travel from his feet up over his body, appraising under thick eyelashes. Kris doesn’t look away, manages not to blush even through his embarrassment and it makes him feel a little bit vindicated.

“Oh honey,” Brad starts, leaning back on the counter and clucking his tongue. “Pants are for Christians.”

Kris makes a face at that and doesn’t say anything. Sometimes he forgets how aggravating Brad can be. He thinks about the first time, months ago back at the mansion, when Brad had snuck Adam out to a club after curfew. How screwed up his sleeping schedule had been after that because he couldn’t stop thinking about Adam getting caught, the producers kicking him off the show. How Adam had looked when he’d gotten back, 4:30 in the morning, smelling like smoke and alcohol and cologne that wasn’t his. There’d been so many questions Kris wanted to ask at the time, some of them inappropriate and all of them not his business, so he’d kept quiet and everything was forgotten the next day.

Thinking about that now though brings back a lot of that old irritation, even when Brad’s smiling at him, a poor attempt at innocence, and shoving a drink in his hand.

“Live a little,” he says, one eyebrow raised and Kris takes a sip because it’s basically a dare and sometimes Kris likes proving people wrong. The lazy smile never leaves Brad’s face. “Good boy.”

“Thank you,” Kris deadpans. “I can sit and roll over, too.”

Brad doesn’t wink or say something ridiculous after that, like ’I bet you can’ or 'I’d like to see that’, the things Kris expects. Instead there‘s silence. Brad’s facing the room, watching Kris out of the corner of his eye and his staring makes Kris fidget a little, toying with the ends of shirt.

“Hmm,” Brad starts again, fingertips circling the edge of his glass. “It’s funny, isn’t it?”

“Sure,” Kris says, without really thinking.

“God, you’re pretty but there’s not much going on upstairs is there?”

Kris rolls his eyes, looking away. “Fine geez, what‘s funny, Brad?” he asks and his tone is purposely over-humoring. He just feels tired, so tired and sick of this all of a sudden, he doesn’t even think twice before bringing the cup back up to his lips, swallowing it’s contents down without a breath. The warmth that pools in his belly afterward is welcome. He can see Brad still watching him, too, and he raises an eyebrow.

“We’re funny. The two of us,” Brad continues.

“I barely know you.”

“And yet you’ve never liked me,” he says. “Why is that?”

“I never said I didn’t like you, either. You’re just…you’re…” he trails off, making a vague motion with his hands, trying to explain himself.

Brad smirks. “That was so eloquent.”

“I need another drink,” Kris says and it‘s probably a mistake. He doesn’t know how much he has after that, not too much, but enough to feel heavy and at ease with himself. He listens while Brad talks about the Universe and the stars and destiny. Brad thinks it was all some crazy twist of fate, everything that’s happened, everything that’s brought them together, the meeting of opposing words.

Kris listens and watches Adam smile and hug and mingle. He notices halfway through Brad’s speech that his words are starting to slur together, and Kris doesn’t get most of what he’s saying but it’s okay. Kris thinks about these things himself sometimes, laying alone in his bunk. Sometimes he thinks about Brad and sees someone else, sees the person he could have been in a different life. Sometimes he thinks about what Adam said in Rolling Stone, “totally my type”, and something in his gut clenches and twists.

“This is my story time, Arkansas,” Brad suddenly says, tone indignant, like he knows Kris isn’t paying attention and Kris finds it extremely irritating all of a sudden. “Pay attention.”

“You’re drunk.”

“Philosophical,” Brad scoffs. “And you‘re starting to bore me.”

“Well, why don‘t you go talk to someone else then?”

“Please, I’m not nearly drunk enough to work this room,” he says, making a face in Danny and Michael‘s general direction. “Give me another lifetime.”

Kris shakes his head at that, not saying anything. Before long though, people start to take notice of him and Brad wanders off drink in hand. Kris signs autographs and attempts friendly conversation, but his mind is elsewhere. When he looks up, he sees Adam smiling at Brad from across the room and he swallows hard.


* * *


Kris doesn’t understand why it bothers him. He knows Brad and Adam have a history. They’ve talked about it, all those late nights back when they were room mates discussing life and love and all the things they’ve always wanted. Brad is the first person Adam’s ever loved. Kris knows it and although he’s always considered Brad mildly annoying and a little bit on the obnoxious side, it’s never truly bothered him.

Watching them now though, Brad hanging on Adam while he talks to Cassidy and the rest of his LA friends, Kris doesn’t even know. He feels like something’s crawling under his skin.

“Where’re you at?” Matt asks him, elbowing him in the side and Kris jolts a little bit. He didn’t even notice anyone walk up. Matt laughs and Kris swats his arm away. “You look gone, man.”

“He’s probably just exhausted,” Anoop cuts in, looking up from his iphone, and Kris is all ready to jump on that excuse until he keeps going. “Headlining a tour will do that to you.”

“Yeah, especially one dragged down by so many loser opening acts,” Matt says, making an exaggerated ‘sucks to be you’ face. Kris grins, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I hate you guys."

“Woah, don’t be like that,” Matt says, feigning hurt. “You said what we had was special.”

“He loves you. He’s just not in love with you,” Anoop says.

“Isn’t that what Meg told you last night?” Matt asks, eyebrows furrowed together in mock confusion and Kris laughs, ducking his head.

“Oh, that was a burn.”

“Shut up,” Anoop says, and he’s glaring and turning a little pink which only eggs Matt on and makes Kris laugh harder. “I told you it’s not like that.”

The whole conversation ends with Matt snatching Anoop’s iphone out of his hands and making off with it. Anoop follows after him, looking like he wants to be pissed off, but can’t help being a little amused anyway. Kris smiles, feeling better and thinks maybe he is just tired. He’s been traveling like crazy back and forth since he found out about his Grandma and he’s running on four hours sleep and his emotions are all out of whack. Combine that with how well Brad seems to know how to push his buttons and Kris thinks it would make sense. He just wishes he could get rid of the pit that’s settled in his stomach and stop himself from sneaking glances at Adam across the room because that part doesn’t make sense at all.


* * *


“The buses are pulling out in a few,” Kris tells Adam later, as he’s heading towards the door. Adam and Brad are talking by themselves, kind of close together and heated and Kris doesn’t mean it as an interruption, not really, but Brad is looking at him like he did it on purpose.

“Thanks, Kris,” Adam says and he smiles, tight but maybe a little grateful. Kris smiles back and Brad makes an annoyed sound. “Tell the guys I’ll be out in a minute.”

Brad repeats ‘the guys’ under his breath, snickering to himself and Kris knows he’s drunk so he tries not to be annoyed.

“Will do,” is all he chooses to say, heading out and painting on a smile that quickly fades when he hears ‘don’t I get a kiss good bye?’ come out of Brad’s mouth from behind him. Kris doesn’t hear Adam’s response, doesn’t really want to. He feels like the wind just got knocked out of him and the weight of that feeling, the realization takes him completely by surprise.


* * *


Kris can’t sleep. He’s confused and aggravated with himself and he feels a little bit like kicking something. It’s times like this he misses home and the mansion and bedrooms that don’t move. He wants to lay out on an actual bed with his acoustic guitar, just play and not think. Instead he stretches out on the bus couch and listens to his ipod, humming along just faintly and trying to drown out his thoughts.

His eyes are closed when Adam’s voice brings him back.

“Everything okay?” Adam asks, standing in the doorway. He looks worried and Kris thinks he must have just woken up, all decked out in his big t-shirt and plaid pajama pants, hair sticking up in odd directions. The corners of Kris’s mouth perk up in a small smile.

“Yeah, just thinking, I guess,” he says and Adam pats his knee, willing him to shove over so he can sit.

They don’t talk for awhile. It’s comfortable and warm, Adam pressed against his side. Kris feels calm all of a sudden and Adam doesn’t push him to say anything. Kris appreciates that, appreciates that Adam gets him. Sometimes Kris forgets Adam hasn’t known him his whole life, that it’s only been a year and they know each other this well.

“Can I ask you something?” Kris says finally, and he doesn’t look at Adam, just picks at the loose threads on his jeans. “You and Brad, you’re…”

Adam laughs suddenly, before Kris can finish his thought, and his head snaps up. Adam is smirking at him, amusement obvious in his blue eyes. “Oh my God, is that really what this is about?”

Kris frowns. “Huh?”

“You were jealous,” Adam says, and Kris feels his ears turn pink. He looks away and he honestly can‘t remember the last time he was this embarrassed. Adam wraps an arm around him, squeezing his shoulder. “Hey no, I’m not trying to make fun of you. It’s okay.”

“I was jealous,” Kris says, like he’s accepting it and Adam lifts his head up, finger under Kris‘s chin, forcing them to make eye contact. Kris swallows. “Of Brad. I was jealous of Brad. I don’t know why, he just…really bothered me tonight. More than usual.”

“Because you don‘t like other pocket-sized, Southern boys monopolizing my attention?” Adam teases and he’s smirking again. Kris laughs and ducks his head into Adam’s shoulder.

“You suck.”

“Only if you ask nicely,” Adam responds, dropping a kiss to Kris’s forehead and Kris wrinkles his nose. They sit in silence after that, just leaning into each other. Kris likes it more than he probably should.


* * *


He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he wakes up in his bunk, Adam leaning over him and working to get the blankets up. Kris’s arms are wrapped around Adam’s neck like he's a koala and he wonders groggily if Adam carried him all the way from the couch.

“Okay, time to let go now,” Adam whispers and Kris makes a noise of protest in the back of his throat. He’s so comfortable, he doesn’t want to move. Adam huffs out a laugh and Kris opens his eyes. Adam is so close and Kris doesn't know what he feels in that moment. Pure happiness, maybe. But he leans up, catching Adam’s mouth without thinking.

What he’s doing doesn’t really even register in his brain. He feels it, though. Adam’s lips are warm and soft and Kris thinks it’s nice. He likes it. It only lasts a couple seconds but he thinks in the back of his head, he’d like to do it again. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe when he's not so tired.

Adam doesn’t say anything, just pushes his arms down and pulls the blankets up over him.

“G’night Adam,” Kris whispers when the curtain starts to close.

“Good night, Kris,” Adam says, smiling faintly. Kris burrows his face into his pillow and falls back asleep.